Dear Shifty;
My boyfriend invited me to a NASCAR race but I am not sure what to expect. I know nothing about NASCAR. I want to go, so what do I do, what do I wear and what should I know before I go?
Signed
Fast but no Racer.
Dear Fast but no Racer:
Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy. He wants you to share his hobby with you. Meeting his Mother may be next but going to a NASCAR race is more important!
First things first, don’t scream, jump up and down or pass out when you see a cute driver; at least not unless your boyfriend does.
Second, find out which driver he likes to pull for and then that is your favorite driver. If he likes Dale Earnhardt JR. and you keep yelling for Jeff Gordon chances are you won’t get to meet his mom. If you root for Kyle Busch you might even be walking home after the race.
Third, the Lucky Dog is not a stray animal on the track that just missed getting ran over by the leader.
Fourth, trash on the track does not mean your sleazy sister is racing this week.
Fifth, your know guys; wear anything short and tight unless you are on the plump side then long and loose.
Finally, it is called the Sprint Cup series because Sprint is the sponsor, not because after 500 miles all the drivers need to “sprint to the little boys’ room”.
Good luck, you will need it.
Shifty
